Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)13:48:13 No.25866739▶>>25866775 >>25866854

    I have a theory about why women suck so bad at things in general and its because they get immediate praise and recognition for even trying. Even simple things innate to women like being a mother are praised inherently. But then you get into sports or leadership or whatever and it is insane how women will get immediate endless praise just for trying. Which is such a toxic environment to learn skills and develop talent in. This was shockingly obvious to me in the military where women are so over confident because EVERYBODY in their life has praised them so hard for simply signing a service contract that they get into basic training acting like they are squad leaders and then never get humbled because drill sergeants and command does this shit too. It's fucked up. You can't infantalize people like this because you dont ever actually develop if you have no motivation to. If you feel like a star athlete right off the bat then why the fuck would you try your best??

    and i'm MtF and have noticed the way people treat me like a child now when I do things. It's quite disheartening and makes me not want to try hard. So maybe the problem here isn't trannies existing, its that we still live in such a misogynistic society that women are treated like children. But its not just men who do this, its women to. In fact I think other women are so fucking toxicaly positive towards other women and it really hinders them. Like I do a lot of craft related things and am in those type of communities. Women will make absolute garbage and be applauded for it. That is not at all how it works for men.
    
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)13:58:34 No.25866854▶>>25866900

    >>25866739
    > and i'm MtF and have noticed the way people treat me like a child now when I do things. It's quite disheartening and makes me not want to try hard.
    I noticed this too. My friends and family are very supportive of me but I feel like I get constant asspats and praise for doing absolutely nothing and nobody in my life really encourages me to try hard to achieve things anymore, apart from my one mtf friend. It’s a really surreal feeling and idk what to do about it - I think cis women are so steeped in this gentle, soft, seductively sweet mode of patronisation (both by men AND their female peers which not enough people seem to be aware of) that they don’t even notice it. I don’t think a single person has told me to just apply myself/try harder in years now apart from that one friend I mentioned. It really does make it a lot more tempting to accept being a mediocre person. Good post anon.
    
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:04:07 No.25866900▶>>25867021

    >>25866854
    >nobody in my life really encourages me to try hard to achieve things anymore
    Same. Everybody used to be so on top of me to achieve and do well when i was a man and now I get a pat on the back just for cooking dinner for my bf. It feels awful and this is one of those things that trannies have a unique perspective on. It's really bad to not have expectations or responsibilities placed on you. Cis women don't seem to realize how toxic the world they live in is.
    
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:16:13 No.25867021▶>>25867142

    >>25866900
    Yeah, at first I was honestly pretty elated to have everyone be so nice to me all the time, since life presenting male can be a lot more harsh and uncompromising, but now I just find it kind of weird, have you done anything about it? Pointed it out to any cis people or discussed it IRL? I’ve not wanted to say anything to people because I’m worried I’ll come across as being overly hostile, aggressive or ungrateful. It’s a really strange social quirk and I’m honestly not sure how to adapt to it. My mother has outright told me that she doesn’t care if I get a career or finish university and that I should just do whatever I feel like, and spends more time talking to me about dating than about goals or aspirations, it’s genuinely mindblowing realising the extent to which women are subtly conditioned to be non competitive and to not strive for greatness, even in supposedly egalitarian societies.
    
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:27:32 No.25867142▶>>25867240

    >>25867021
    >at first I was honestly pretty elated to have everyone be so nice to me
    Yeah its such a dramatically different experience.
    >Pointed it out to any cis people or discussed it IRL? 
    I bitch about it to my bf sometimes because it really bothers me when im in spaces for my hobbies and a grown woman is getting praise instead of criticism for some total trash they have made, presenting it to the group like a child showing their teacher a picture they drew... Like i'm embarrassed for them.
    >My mother has outright told me that she doesn’t care if I get a career or finish university
    This is so sad. Like i'm very happy being a housewife and I will never criticize someone for not following the college/job path. BUT YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO. I hate my mom with a passion because she was a stay at home mom and she was awful at it and all her kids are fucked up because of it. We cannot live in the environment where you are praised for being a woman inherently. Though it seems a lot of women love this, and abuse it. Seems like thats a big reason TERFs exist.
    
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:37:53 No.25867240▶>>25867305

    >>25867127
    not necessarily, i started at 17 and a friend started at 16 and we both took blockers before that
    sure a lot of trans people weren’t so lucky but if they suppress their T for a couple of years i don’t think it’s fair to discriminate against them just because they weren’t able to get treatment as early as they would have liked
    >>25867142
    > woman is getting praise instead of criticism for some total trash they have made, presenting it to the group like a child showing their teacher a picture they drew...
    this is a major thing for me in my creative writing group, like people are so relentlessly positive that I never get any helpful feedback, and I don’t feel comfortable giving even the tiniest bit of criticism to somebody else’s work unless I heap a mountain of praise around it because NOBODY else actually criticises anything, the whole idea of criticism seems to be discussing what we liked about the work, and it all just feels way too self congratulatory, to the point where I legit have been posting my work on /lit/ anonymously because the people there will actually call me out when i produce something terrible
    > I hate my mom with a passion because she was a stay at home mom and she was awful at it and all her kids are fucked up because of it. 
    the crazy thing is my mother divorced at three and spent her whole life supporting me and my brother while working a career, without any help from a man, and she was a second wave feminist that literally had to deal with being called a “man hater” in the 80s for calling out men who slapped her ass at work, and yet she STILL is saying this sort of stuff? like I could at least expect it from a mother who was a housewife herself but seeing a working woman perpetuate that sort of thing is baffling to me.
    > Seems like thats a big reason TERFs exist.
    TERFs seem to congratulate themselves a tonne for their womanhood and ig they think the idea that someone can become a woman with effort threatens that?
    
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:44:41 No.25867305▶>>25867366

    >>25867240
    >I legit have been posting my work on /lit/ anonymously because the people there will actually call me out when i produce something terrible
    Yeah iktf you can only get good feedback when people assume you are a man.
    >TERFs seem to congratulate themselves a tonne for their womanhood and ig they think the idea that someone can become a woman with effort threatens that?
    Well they hate that their inherent value is being threatened. The idea of a straight man being with a trans woman seems to bother them a lot. Because the second their is competition beyond simply having vagina then they get hostile. They do the same type of things to skinny/attractive women too. When you're not expected to be anything other than a walking vagina that tends to create a sense of entitlement where having a vagina should always be enough. Which is why the sports and competition in general thing also bothers them so much.
    
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:50:36 No.25867366▶>>25867439

    >>25867305
    I totally agree and it’s so bizarre given gender critical stuff literally started with radical feminism, but now I guess it’s pretty far removed from feminism and is just being taken up by women who cling to their feminity as their sole source of value and see trans women as a threat to that, it’s honestly been kind of mindblowing to see develop because imo it’s basically “fragile masculinity” but for women and I didn’t think so many people could be so fundamentally insecure about something like this