>>25662
Do you feel that you spend an adequate amount of time socializing?

>>25663
No I don't have IRL friends anymore I only talk to my classmates and family members but the conversations are shallow and I don't really get along with them

>>25666
I don't think I have anything that could help you, but I'm in a similar boat. It probably isn't the best way out of it, but right now I primarily value my social life as consisting of my presence on this website, because I feel as if I can interact with people and build things that others will appreciate (baking), but it probably will end up crumbling sooner or later. We live in an increasingly isolated and lonely world, and I really have no idea how anyone can help to solve this situation

>>25667
>but it probably will end up crumbling sooner or later.
I feel the same. This way of life is not sustainable and there's nothing I can do to change it... it's too late now. If I could go back 5 years back in time maybe I would have a chance to change my situation for the better. Online communities and music is the only thing keeping me alive at this point.

>>25666
I see. And how about online?

>>25669
I love hanging out with them. I feel like we would really get along if we were to meet in real life but they (most of them) live on the other side of the planet, there is still some non-zero chance that I will meet one of them. But I think people are different online so maybe we wouldn't like each other IRL... who knows. I've been in many friend groups in my life and always felt like I wasn't being my real self with them but some part of me still enjoyed their company.

>>25670
Hmm. Have you been spending less time with them, to focus on your studies, and if so did that coincide with you holding more imaginary conversations with them? In your head? Do you feel that they are in a sense "not enough" because you only know them online? That you thirst for something more material? If so, did these feelings rise together with the amount of imaginary conversations you participate in?

I'm sort of wondering whether you use them to compensate for what you're missing. Which is.. maybe obvious, but it's worth asking the obvious, so you can put the answer into words and better understand your own thoughts.

>>25670
>always felt like I wasn't being my real self with them
Yeah, this really sucks. I think when combined with other identity issues it compounds to become even worse; especially in cases where you have either a fractured sense of self esteem or pessimistic view of "human conduct" and how people hide opinions or views from others for ulterior motives

>>25673
Not the person you're replying to but I've often felt this when participating in meatspace friendships where I wasn't entirely honest about who I am. On the other hand some of my online relationships feel incredibly real to me because those involved in them actually do know me and like me anyhow.

>>25672
>did that coincide with you holding more imaginary conversations with them
I think so. Because if I do spend time with them then I don't need imaginary conversations but they were still happening when I was not hanging out with them
>That you thirst for something more material
I don't think I've felt this but obviously it would be better if I knew them in real life, I think I could be reasonably happy if I just spend all my free time hanging out with them online but I don't know if that feeling would last for very long.

>>25675
How do you feel about your studies? Do they interest you or do you engage in them out of obligation? To secure your future? Could this essentially be your way of procrastinating, or is there something more to it?

>I don't think I've felt this but obviously it would be better if I knew them in real life, I think I could be reasonably happy if I just spend all my free time hanging out with them online but I don't know if that feeling would last for very long.
I understand what you mean. Online friendships, as much as I treasure them, can be very fragile. So it's risky to put all of your eggs in one basket like that.

>>25676
>How do you feel about your studies? Do they interest you or do you engage in them out of obligation? To secure your future? Could this essentially be your way of procrastinating, or is there something more to it?
I feel engaged in some of my classes but not all of them and it's my last year so I'm actually excited to graduate and start working but it's mostly out of obligation. I'm just lonely that's why I spend time with them, if I had irl friends I'm sure I would spend less time there. It also doesn't help that it's all online and I have instant access to them...

>I understand what you mean. Online friendships, as much as I treasure them, can be very fragile. So it's risky to put all of your eggs in one basket like that.
I don't have any other choice, I think I still have some opportunities to meet people in college before I graduate but I'm not really good at initiating things. I will try to be less reliant on my online friends and be happy being alone by myself.

>>25677
It's a tough situation. You understand the problem but don't really know what to do about it. I don't know either, unfortunately. I could say something trite and obvious like "go out and meet people" but that's easier said than done, isn't it? What I will say, though, is that you should accept that you are human and that humans have needs. One of those needs is contact. Socialization. Company. We're social creatures and it's as important to us as a roof over our heads. It's okay to feel lonely and to want to act to alleviate that. In a sense those fantasies of yours is some part of you trying to get what you're not getting. So to resolve them I don't think you should learn to tough things out and just find a way to be happy alone, but actually address the core issue. Becoming stronger only works for so long. For so many things. At some point you need to feed your hunger.

I'm not very good at making friends either, to say the least, but I hope you find some solution. More functional people than I often told me that a good place to meet friends is common spaces where everyone is engaged with some shared activity that does not by itself require friendship. Work, or hobbies, or hiking, or whatever. Maybe you could look into that? Sorry if this is not very helpful but that's what I can think of right now.

In any case, good luck, and know you're not broken. It's natural to feel like that, and to want what you need to be happy.

>>25678
>Sorry if this is not very helpful but that's what I can think of right now.
Thank you for your post I already feel a lot better after chatting with you guys :)

>>25679
Haha :)

I'd also like to thank you two, for giving me something to think about at least, but I still have few hopes for things to get better on my end. I'm probably going to continue attempting to build personal "worth" through my presence on this site, and through becoming a more educated individual (building up culltural capital)

>>25681
As happy as I am to see you here, you shouldn't place your self-worth in a place like this. Or any place, really. It should emanate from within you. If you can relate to what was said here maybe you should try to take steps to improve things for you too.

>>25682
>it should emanate from within you
I have some difficulties with this one, because I see few redeemable things about myself. My most redeeming trait most of the time is to know when to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself.
Thank you for your time though! And thank you OP for making this thread!

>>25679
In any case, I hope that you find your way. I'll root for you. Best wishes.

>>25683
I think you're very likable. You seem smart, too. And determined to act based on your desires rather than just emptily fantasize about them. Those are commendable traits. Even if you did not have them, though.. you're so young! So, so young! Your entire life is ahead of you. You could completely change a dozen times over yet. So you shouldn't think about yourself like that. Rather, see your potential, and take pride in moving toward being the sort of person you want to be.

>>25685
Maybe. I think it's funny that you say I seem smart though, I actually only tried to develop that as a cope for a problem that I wasn't looking at correctly. Right now my biggest hope for the future comes from countries like Norway, mainly due to a paradigm shift that's happening over there (that won't come to the US for at least another 2 decades)

>>25686
I have to ask you about the Norway thing
What paradigm shift?

>>25687
Well, it's a work in progress, but I'm willing to bet stakes on a popular ideology. Now normally in spaces like this whenever people talk about ideologies, stuff like capitalism, neoliberalism, others I can't think about, I see them as being rather full of it, or just overly optimistic. But there's a new ideology that I think we'll see coming around (although even I probably won't live to see all of its fruits). This ideology is Metamodernism. In terms of political effects, this (in Nordic countries) consists of a new "meta-political game", namely green social liberalism.

>>25688
>>25690
Interesting. I guess I'd need to hear more about it to really decide what to make of it, but I'm glad you're finding value in this world. That it anchors you.

I truly believe that Metmodernism will act as a guide to the future, but I doubt that it will encompass my future, as I live in the US. At least I'm in a good state though, for what its worth.

Ideas have a way of crossing oceans.

Anyhow, I'm off for now. Take care everyone.

I'm also going to leave. Bye you two!

Goodbye!

>>25688
I would be very interested in hearing a full write-up of this

>>25716
Sorry, but that would be at least a month off. Although every once in a while I might throw out some incoherent ramblings in /gle/ over what I read. As a very rudimemtary level though, Metamodernism is based around “Sincere Insincerity” wifh the goals of getting us to ask deeper questions via initial satire or parody.

Here’s a quick example while I’m here, the pink-chicken project: https://pinkchickenproject.com/#order
The main point here is that it uses a rather rediculous premise with the goals of fostering sincere discussion over Gene-editting.

oh hu

>>37815
what did zhe mean by this?

>>37833
intense intense connection problem sorry, got a little desperate and tried just getting a few letters through, I think here my connection got cut off before I realized I wasn't in the general.

Ok so I didnt read the entire thread but do you think that you accidentally created a tulpa or something??

>>38337
Isn't tulpa supposed to have one personality or something? It needs to be consistent I think. No I haven't created that, it was just random imaginary convos with my friends and they are real people so they can't be tulpas I guess.

I imagine having conversations with online friends as well... Some of the same hypothetical convos run through my mind repeatedly, day after day, month after month.

>>25662
>>39419
Personally I tend to imagine adventures

>>25662
i used to get like this a lotwhen i had nothing going on in my life other than net friends, gets better the busier you get. real annoying though